HA HA!! Im in your Journal, killing ur d00ds!!

Love Brother David

Good grief....so much is going on! I will have to tell about it later, but a lot of it is drama, and I hate drama!

So Saturday makes a whole month since me and Andrew broke it off. It is pretty much over for good, now. We have nothing in common anymore. We both like other people, which is ok with me.

I thought I was going to have to go stag to the formal, but I definately got a date yesterday! The guy I like asked me to go with him! :-) I am sooo excited!

My grandparents are in town! My dad is coming tomorrow! I have to get up early to pick him up from the airport though...boo...oh well I am excited anyway.

My recital is on tuesday! YAY! Everyone should come! It is at 8pm in Scott Concert Hall!

Choir Tour 2006....what can I say....It was rockin!

We left thursday and went to Rocky Hock (don't ask me where that is) and sang at Justin Smith's home church. Had fried chicken and stayed with strangers, at least they were nice strangers.

Friday, we went to downtown Edenton to see the waterfront. There was this peir that we walked down, and thinking it went all the way back to shore, I dodged seagull poo (EVERYWHERE GROSS!) and ended up having to turn back around because the peir ended right before it reached land. Then we loaded up the bus and headed to Creswell, NC to sing at Lyndsey's home church. Which was beautiful on the inside. More fried chicken and a little basketball, which I am horrible at. More staying with strangers....ones who listen to rap music and carry dogs in the back of their truck. Through Edenton and Creswell, I had no cell phone service...and it sucked.

Saturday was our free/sightseeing day. We went to the Outer banks, to Kitty Hawk and all of the Sprint cells phones start going off at the same time....SERVICE!!! We went to the Wright Bros memorial and I had to climb a freakin mountain just to get to the memorial thingy. I dont' think I have ever felt that out of shape in my life! Then we headed over to the Lost Colony and I got to see the inside of a ship and shave a stick on a dumbhead....lol. After that...we went to Jockey's Ridge and climbed another mountian...this time it was all sand. It was absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful at the top of the giant sand dune! As we were coming down, we ran into Jamie, Daniel, Erin, and Jamie's Boyfriend William, and she had something shiney on her finger!! She was engaged!! EXCITEMENT!! After all of that excitement we had dinner at Applebees and we all went to our host homes for the night. This home was great! They had two kitties and a very friendly dog and I played tug of war with him most of the night.

Sunday, we sang two concerts for two services at the same church then loaded up the bus and went to see the Hatteras light house and the beach! We didnt' get very much beach time though...I was sad. It was a beautiful day though. We ended up at Hatteras Baptist Church and sang a days third concert. Me and Justine got into a group with Brittany K. Jami Howard, and Erin Potter at our host home. We went out to the sound side of the island at night and it was so quite and the stars were just so beautiful. I dont' think I have ever seen the sky so lovely. There was this mist coming off of the water and the flashlights ran out so I was pretty scared even with 6 other ppl. around me.

Monday, we took two ferries back to the main land. We stopped in between ferries on Okracoke Island and had lunch at Howard's Pub and it was ok. I bought a T-shirt. It was a pretty deserted island this time of the year. I slept through the next ferry ride. I think I would have gotten sick had I not slept. We sang a concert in Newbern and stayed with some more strangers.

Tuesday we were back on the road, headed toward Jacksonville. We went shopping in the mall to kill some time and I got some really cute shoes for really cheap! Then we went to camp Lejune to sing in the mall...of all places. It was an interesting experience. After the concert we were bombarded by girl scouts selling cookies...and I couldnt' resist. I bought a box of thin mints...mmmmmmmm! It was hotel night, so we all stayed in the Holiday Inn Express or the Innkeeper. Andrew came up from Wilmington and we had dinner and talked for a good while.

Wednesday, we got to sleep in late. WOOT! Then we went to Wilmington and I met up with Andrew again and we had lunch at On the Boarder and then went to the downtown to meet up with the rest of the choir ppl. It was such a nice day and I love the waterfront of downtown Wilmington. Then we loaded up the bus and went to Southport. Another favorite place for me! We had Hawaiian food for dinner and sang an awesome concert! A great place to end our tour. Me and Justine went home to a beach cottage and really nice ppl. and since we were on Oak Island (like my second home) we decided to get a little beach time. We grabbed up some flash lights and walked down to the Ocean Crest peir and sat for a while and I wanted to walk to the end of the pier, but there was a really creepy man walking toward us so we headed back to the house. The ocean is so beautiful at night.

Thursday, I didnt' go back with the choir. Andrew came to Southport and took me back to his apartment and we went to Ft. Fisher and he showed me some of the civil war history stuff and tried to get me to walk on this rock wall that went way out into the middle of the bay area...haha...no way am I ever gonna do that. Then we went to the aquarium and I met fish that were bigger than me! I might second guess surfing and bodyboarding this summer if I remember all of these crazy fish i saw. We went back to his place after that and he made dinner (chicken parmesean) and we watched RENT!! He didnt' like it but I did. We are working things out. It has been so nice to see him, I really missed him.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jessiemarie

Do it....

Three Names You Go By
1. Jessica
2. Jess
3. Babydoll, sweetheart

Three Things That Scare You
1. Spiders
2. drowning
3. losing my loved ones

Three of Your Everyday Essentials
1. brushing my teeth
2. Music
3. Andrew

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. pj pants with kitties on them
2. green shirt
3. towel on my head

Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Michael Buble
2. Josh Groban
3. Hanson

Three of Your Favorite Songs
1. "That's All" - Michael Buble
2. "Jesus Take the Wheel" - Carrie Underwood
3. "When You Say You Love Me" - Josh Groban

Two Truths and a Lie (in random order!)
1. I love Kitties
2. I love Pizza
3. I love math

Three Physical Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You
1. Eyes
2. Personality
3. Smile

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Music
2. reading
3. Being with friends

Three Things You want to do really badly right now
1. Eat
2. Not have to do homework
3. Get my powerpoint done

Three Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Ireland
2. Greece
3. Thailand

Three Things You Want to Do/Be Before You Die
1. Marry and start a family
2. Travel the world
3. Get my Doctoral degree in music ed

Three Ways that you are stereotypically a boy/girl
1. Drama
2. I love anything cute
3. I get jealous

Three people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Amanda
2. Marian
3. Samantha

YAYNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am moving into an apartment this summer!  I cannot wait!  I am going to be living with Amanda Fleshman, Megan Truelove, and a girl named Courtney, in the New Apartments!!  I am soooo freaking excited!  No more of these stupid Campbell rules saying that I can't bring my boyfriend in my room unless we have the doors open, lights all on, feet on the floor, and forget any form of entanglement....HAHAHAHA  I am free!  I am going to get a job this summer to help pay for it...a real job, not an on campus one, but I do plan on working in the band department again cause it is super fun!  All in all, it has been a wonderful day!  I don't have conducting lab tomorrow so I get out of class at 2 and that makes me very happy!  But, I do have to conduct the wind ensemble on a warm-up chorale and I am soooooooooooooo nervous!  But it is only 16 measures long with a pickup so I think I can deal.  There are not many cues (really none at all, I threw in a few just for the learning process) and it is a folksong that I know pretty well, so I think I am going to be fine.  Now if I can just keep my pinky finger to stay where it needs to go and keep my eyes on the band instead of the score.    

Long time, no update.....

Well, I am going crazy with school stuff. I have 17 1/2 hours, practice on piano for 10 hours a week, voice practice for my recital about 12 or more hours a week, lots of homework, working in the band office for 8 hours a week, working a concert for 3 hours every week, working at Dr. Morrow's church every Wednesday, and we had choir retreat this weekend (friday 4-11pm and Saturday 8am-12pm), and a performance at a church in Greenville, NC tomorrow morning (bus leaving at 8am....uhg!). So I am pretty busy. I feel like I never see my friends anymore, but if I want to stay on the Dean's List, I gotta keep my prioritys straight, and education is my #2 priority. Pretty soon I will have to start studying for my praxis and this summer I am going to study for the grad school exam (I forget what it is called for music students something like the MFAT?). I am thinking the best program for me is doing the Masters of Music Education Online at ECU. I would get to have a job while I am in these classes (which I need cause I have some serious student loans) and in the summer I have to go and take voice lessons and another class at the campus, which is wonderful, seeing as I wanted to continue with lessons. I have high aspirations, but I am hoping that I will achieve my goals. As it is looking now, I suck at conducting. I have no confidence in myself, I can't hear when things aren't tuned right, or if my saxes are playing in the right spot. I can't look at the people I am conducting cause I don't want to loose my place in my score, but then I don't have any facial expressions to help the band play musically. I dunno what I am going to do when I get to the choral conducting part. I can tell an instrument being out of tune more so than a voice...YIKES!!

I found out tonight that David is going to Japan around 20 days after he graduates from tech school. I should be happy for him, but I am actually very sad. I haven't seen him since this summer and when you go to another country, you are there for at least three years. He said that he would be back in NC for at least 20 days before he leaves, so he better visit with me. There has to be some serious sibling time. I just hope that he can come back for my wedding (I dunno when that will be) because I wanted him to walk me down the aisle. I don't want my dad to do it, I want David to. He has always been there for me, through everything. I can only hope.

John is causing problems in the lives of Andrew and Jessica again. He won't leave Andrew alone. He keeps trying to hook him up with other girls. The first time was with some girl in Florida, John gave her Andrew's phone number and it really pissed me off. Now, when I was in Texas, he took Andrew bowling and met up with John's girlfriend and her best friend and they were trying to get him to date her. The thing that made me the most angry was that Andrew hid it from me then, when I asked him about it, he lied. I am getting back to a better level of trust, but I am still really angry with John. He has no right to do this and if he thinks it is ok with me, well then he has another thing coming. I can't handle all of the stress this causes me right now, read above, I have a lot to worry about already. And I really need to trust Andrew in order to get through all of this. I want to trust him. It is taking all I have not to go and cuss the crap out of John, cause that won't do anything, but make me look bad. Andrew says that he is a friend and that they have a lot in common, but what kind of friend does that? I am not the only one who thinks this, Andrew's other friends seem to agree with me about how sleezy John is.

Well, enough of that, it is time for me to sleep; concert in the morning....blah.

I am in Texas again! At my cousin's house. I am staying with Grandma and Grandpa most of the time but I am visiting with Aunt Tammy, Shannon, Nessa, Grandpa Hubbard, Uncle Aaron, and Aunt Mila until Saturday. We are doing some Christmas stuff tomorrow. So I am updating to let everyone know just what has been going on. Well, I got a new haircut...it is totally cute. Then, last Wednesday I went to my grandparents dentist. I have been having trouble with some pressure where my wisdom teeth are coming in. He sent me to an Oral Surgeon. Dr. Bell told me that my wisdom teeth need to come out and soon. So they scheduled an appointment for THE NEXT DAY!! So, the next day at 11:45, they hooked me up to a monitor and put an IV in me to put me to sleep and I remember talking to the Dr. about my major, then I asked him if I was supposed to feel dizzy, then I woke up in a different room. Grandma was sitting at my side and I remember talking to her and the I remember walking very slowly to the car and then going home and sleeping until I drooled on myself and it woke me up. So, as the week went on, I ate my share of pudding and eggs. I have now moved on to the real food diet, but in moderation, no chewing in the back of my mouth...so I look like a fish everytime I eat. I went back for my follow-up appointment and a couple of days ago I noticed something sharp in the back of my mouth in the surgery area, well it was a piece of bone. You know what he did? He pulled it out with tongs...AND IT HURT! Now my mouth is all swollen again. Oh the agony!

So, My brother is going to NC for Christmas. I know I shouldn't be mad at him cause I know he misses everyone there but, his family misses him too...especially the Hubbard side...the side he hasn't seen since I graduated high school,three years ago. He finally gave us his mailing address...I dunno what the deal with that was. He rarely calls....and I might just get lucky enough to catch him online. I just got him back and I don't want to loose contact with him again....I miss him very much. I dunno what to get him for Christmas??? A computer game maybe? Or some Anime stuff?? I dunno? I miss Arielle too. I have been missing her for three years now....this will be the third christmas without her. Life just doesn't seem the same without her smiling face.

On a happier note, I got 6 A's, 3 B's, and 1 C this semester! I now have a 3.0 GPA and I am so proud to have brought it up so much! Now to just stay on this path...

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! In September I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Last Monday I gave awfnars a kidney (1000 points). In January mooberry07 and I donated clothes to the needy (11 points). Last Wednesday I helped justtoseeyoucry across the street (6 points). Last Sunday I broke keefslady's X-Box (-12 points). Overall, I've been nice (997 points). For Christmas I deserve a toy train! Sincerely, jessie_marie

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

My last exam is tomorrow!! YES!! And I will be completely finished with this research paper! Texas on monday until January 5th! I can't wait! I will miss you my sweetheart. I love you!

So today has been a bad day...

First: I woke up five minutes before my first class started and I had planned on getting up and actually looking decent and EAT BREAKFAST (which I never do)...and ran to class.

Second: I didn't have my Orff Orchestration to play in my Elementary music methods class, but that isn't really that big of a deal, I just wish I had had it.

Third: I didn't get the solo I tried out for. I tried out for the "Come Unto Him" solo in Handel's "Messiah" and the only other soprano to try out got every single solo there was avalible for sopranos. Why couldn't Dr. Morrow have given me the one solo that I asked for?? I hate how he plays favorites..I am never auditioning again cause she will always be one step ahead, why should I bother. I don't want to take choir anymore...It used to be my favorite class but I am getting tired of all of the drama of the "diva girls" and all of the traveling. I haven't had a spring break in two years! Band people are so much nicer...I am sick of it all.

I do still love to sing and express myself through my voice. I finally got a date set for my recital!!!! It is going to be on March 21, 2006 at 8pm! I am so excited! Got a lot of great pieces lined up for each set! I am splitting the recital with Rebekah Murry, who is a pianist...It seems we will do very well though! You all must come! :-D

Wednesday is Arielle's 13th Birthday....this makes me very sad. I haven't seen her in almost two years. I haven't been able to hug her or tell her I love her in two years. She is so close, yet so far. I miss her so much, she doesn't even know it. I hope that she knows how much I love her and how much I think of her everyday. I am going to try to see her this weekend if possible, but knowing William, he will come out of that door with a shotgun pointed straight at me and not let me see her. Go ahead, let him shoot me, then his lying a$$ would be put in jail, where he belongs. Life seems so hard right now...prayers would be much appreciated.

So Saturday was our 4 year anniversary....I will post picks later....We went hiking at Raven Rock State Park and just enjoyed eachother's company. We had dinner at Olive Garden (oh soooo good). I finally got a phone! It is a tracfone but hey it is good to have when I am driving all the time. I believe that it is really cheaper to have a plan...it is about 50 cents a minute to talk...blah. Just 22 days until my 21st birthday!!!! I am so excited! I gotta start planning! Hmmmm...what to do, what to do?? Any ideas? Fall is here and I am totally excited! I love this season! The cool crisp air and the colorful leaves...it is just beautiful!

I feel like poo....Andrew gave me his cold/cruddy thing that he has....but it was worth it for every kiss!

And here is a real entry...

I didn't get to go to San Antonio...Dad seems to keep letting me down. I called and asked for a plane ticket but I didnt' get one cause I wasn't listed in the system. Lame excuse, I was probably never listed. I get tired of lies or half-truths. Another reason I didn't go was because of Hurricane Rita...She is barreling toward Houston as we speak and I didn't want to get stuck in Texas and not be able to come back to NC and then miss class on top of that. It has just been an unbelievably stressful week. I am glad that I get to see Andrew now though...I wasn't going to be able to. I miss him a lot. A long-distance relationship is really hard. I have never had to go through this before. If you have then please give me some sound advice...I need some.

Tell me now if this makes sense to you....A flight from RDU to San Antonio taking 8 hours and 49 mins because you change planes in New Jersey and Mephis, Tennessee?? Why go up and then come back down? That is longer than I spent on the plane to Germany?? What in the world??

So I am planning a flight to San Antonio to see my brother graduate but geez....the flights all leave in the morning and not just at like 10 or 11, at 5 or 6 in the morning...meaning I have to miss class and all that....I can't miss CUW again...I missed it last week. Not that I really care though. It is just a half credit waste of my time. So many things to worry about until then though...classes non-stop from monday to wednesday...sheesh! Will school ever end?? Who knows?

I am planning my junior solo recital for the spring...so pray for that...it is kind of a scary thought but I am hoping that everything will go well! You must all come!!!

School is in full swing!!! I love and I hate it....

Last night was a scary night...I went to bed and looked up at the ceiling (for no apperhent reason)and there was a HUGE spider about a foot from my head (I sleep on a loft bed). I immediately climbed down and ran to Kelly's room next door and got her to come and kill it. She was armed with only Clean Linen air freshener and paper towels. She got up there and said that it was huge and had fangs....oh gosh! Then she told me that there were TWO of them. She killed the one I saw and the other one went back where it came from....the crack in between the wall and the ceiling in the oh so fabulous building we call Bryan Hall. So now I have stuffed about 10 washcloths in the crack so that I can sleep without worrying about a spider that is as big as a freakin mouse coming and crawling on me at night when I sleep. Matinence better come and fix this soon so I can really sleep peacefully. What a wonderful school I go to....Kelly ordered bunk beds to be put in her room at the beginning of the year and she still hasn't got them. Pokey people that is for sure....well this spider incident is URGENT and it better be taken care of ASAP!!

Fall is almost here...I can just smell the scent of cool, crisp air....